Is it possible that you are choosing the wrong person?

man and woman sitting on bench thinking maybe I'm choosing the wrong person

choosing the wrong person, just like you can choose something in a menu and in the end it turns out that it’s not very attractive for your taste buds; you may even end up choosing someone to have a relationship with, only to find that you are not a good couple. However, even if you can simply stop eating a meal that does nothing for you, you may simply not be able to move away from a relationship that is not right.

Because of the amount of time you have been with this person, you may have strongly attached to him. If you are not a good match this will be pretty bad, but if the other person is abusive, it will be even worse.

What could make someone choose the wrong person?

An error

Probably he would have been the kind of person they had in mind before entering the relationship and then, there would have been the kind of person they once had success with. If they were to compare the idea they had in their minds with the person they are with, it could be similar to the difference between night and day.

Because of how different this person is, one might wonder how they ended up in this position. It could be as if they had ordered a meal, but in the end it was given another meal entirely.

One One Off

If this is the first time this has happened, it may be easier to manage. One could come to the conclusion that they are simply unlucky and that soon their luck will change.

So once they have cut their ties with this person, it may just be a matter of time before they are able to find someone who is right for them. It may not be easy for them to end the relationship, but it will be something they have to do.

A pattern

Then again, it is the possibility that this is not the first time that this happens. In reality, this could be a scenario that has been playing for as long as they can remember.

They will have been with a number of people who were not right for them. Consequently, one might consider oneself unlucky or may believe that someone or something holds them back.

No effect

Keeping in mind that there will be what you want and then there will be what they will get, it will not be a surprise if they feel like they have no control over this area of ​​their life. When it comes to other areas of their life, it could be a very different story.

For example, you could have a very successful career and could have a number of close friends. If one was able to break away from what is happening in this area of ​​their life and think about why this area of ​​their life could in this way, it could give them the opportunity to change their life.

A closer look

Through curiosity about why their life is so & looking for answers, they can come to see that there are at least two parts of their being. One part is called their conscious mind and another part is called their unconscious mind.

The first part will have a small impact on their lives, while the second part will have a great impact on their lives. What can happen to them is that, for so long, they were not even aware that this part of them existed, not to mention what was happening in this part of them.

Turning on the lights

By becoming aware of what is happening in this part of their being, they could gradually come to see why they are attracted to certain people. These people might just check off some of the boxes they have in their conscious mind, but most likely all the boxes that are in their unconscious mind pop up.

In a sense, their conscious mind will be like a person and their unconscious mind will be like another. But even if there are two people, one of these people will have much more control over each other.

The primary need

This other person will not be interested in being with someone who will make them happy or will respect them, for example; what this person really wants to replicate what happened many, many years ago. In other words, their unconscious mind will want someone to be with someone who will allow them to relive what happened during their early years.

This is not because this part of their being wants to see them suffer; it is because this part of them wants to heal their wounds and become whole. By coming into contact with someone who is also injured in a similar way, he will bring to the surface the parts of them with which they have lost contact, and thus will allow them to work through their pain.

Self knowledge

Without this understanding in place, it will be perfectly normal for one to see how other people see the problem. History will repeat itself, but the conscious mind will be completely unclear about what is happening.

Instead of being able to see what is happening and heal their inner wounds, they will simply react to what is happening. More pain will then be added to their existing pain, instead of working through the pain they have been carrying for so long.


If one can relate to this, and are ready to work through their inner wounds, they may need to reach external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Read also: