Dealing with a narcissistic and abusive relationship with gaslighting

Dealing with a narcissistic and abusive relationship with gaslighting, For a long time, the term “gaslighting” has been used to describe a therapeutic technique. The increased awareness of this word has aided people in recognising and naming specific relational dysfunctions, and it has empowered many to stand firm in their own unique realities.


Despite their knowledge and grasp of the word, many people may find it challenging to manage situations when they are being gaslighted. So, let’s speak about how to cope with gaslighting while remaining true to yourself:


Dealing with a narcissistic and abusive relationship with gaslighting

  1. Recognize when you’re being duped by gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a psychological trick used to make someone or a group of individuals doubt their own reality and recall. The phrase comes from the title of a 1938 British comedy called Gas Light, in which a husband modifies and adjusts the home setting frequently and denies doing so when confronted by his wife.


He constantly tells her that she is misremembering events and rejecting her reality, despite the fact that he is consciously altering their surroundings. Here’s where the phrase comes into play: When challenged by his wife about the sounds and change in illumination, he dims the gaslights in their home (while also doing things like creating noises about the house).


  1. Be solid in your convictions.

The objective of gaslighting is to make the individual who is being gaslighted doubt their own perspective. The objective of the individual who is gaslighting you might be to escape accountability while gradually leading you to develop an emotional dependency on them. This causes a great deal of internal conflict, which erodes your capacity to trust yourself and your memories.


To counteract this, be solid in your convictions. This entails trusting yourself, your instincts, and what you know to be correct. It entails taking responsibility for your view (i.e., what you saw, heard, and felt). “I know what I saw,” or “Don’t tell me how to feel; this is how I feel,” are phrases that come to mind.


  1. Make a list of everything.

It might be beneficial to write things down as they happen to help you ground yourself in your own truth. Keep a journal of your experiences and make it a habit to read over your work. Keep track of what’s going on. A diary is a fantastic method to keep track of what’s going on throughout time. This will give you more confidence in what you already know to be true.


  1. Keep it basic in your communication.

When you approach a discussion, know what you want to get out of it. What is it that you want to achieve? Resolve? What are the most important points you want to make?


When someone is gaslighting you, they will tell you the truth, change the storey, and diminish your feelings. Knowing your objective before you start a conversation can help you stay on track rather than getting swayed in multiple ways by a gaslighting individual.


  1. Be ready to walk away from a conversation.

Deflecting and minimising methods may also be used by the individual who is gaslighting you. It’s critical to exercise self-validation in these situations and identify when the dialogue is becoming cyclical and unjust. When you notice symptoms of your reality being rejected or downplayed, give yourself permission to exit the conversation.


  1. Don’t be concerned about “outsmarting” the gaslighter.

Disengage is the greatest method to outsmart a gaslighter. Even if you bring a pile of proof, films, recordings, and other materials to the conversation, a gaslighter will find a way to divert, minimise, or deny. It’s more worthwhile to keep your viewpoint intact.


Read Also: How to Spot the Signs of Gaslighting?

Read Also: What Should You Do If You’re Being Gaslighted?