Hating people, How can you get over someone you despise?

Hating people, Have you ever wished you could just stop hating someone? Experiences with others may often lead to feelings of hatred, especially if we’ve been treated badly by a single person (think ex-spouse or obnoxious coworker) or group.


Hatred is a feeling. It straddles the line between rage, fear, and contempt. Hatred, at its worst, may lead to violent deeds.


Hatred can be triggered by a variety of factors, but it is frequently fueled, at least in part, by faulty cognitive processes such “all-or-nothing thinking” or broad generalisations.


Why is it that storing anger is so bad for our health?

Many individuals assume that suppressing their feelings would make them go away, but this is far from the case. Unaddressed emotions build up and increase over time, rather than dispersing.


Containing a powerful feeling becomes more physically difficult as the intensity of the emotion increases. Emotions are a form of moving energy (E-motion).


We clench our jaws, grind our teeth, tighten our muscles, and ball up our fists in an attempt to stop the movement. It’s draining.


Stress hormones are released in our brain in response to strong emotions.


When we bottle up negative emotions like anger, the release of stress hormones continues, causing increased inflammation throughout the body and potentially serious health effects.


Hating people, What distinguishes hate from rage?

The idea, “I’ve been wronged,” is frequently associated with anger.


Hatred feeds on that notion by adding the perspective that “others deserve to suffer or be punished because I have been wronged.”


If we allow ourselves to participate in thinking processes that aim to dehumanise or make a person or group into a “enemy” or “other,” anger can turn into hatred.


The more we drift from recognising the fundamental threads that bind us as humans, the more prone we are to feel strong emotions such as hatred.


How do we get rid of our feelings of hatred?

The appropriate course of action for resolving hate sentiments will vary depending on the circumstances.


If you have sentiments of hatred towards someone or a group you don’t understand, start with empathy (the capacity to comprehend and share another’s feelings) and compassion (engaging in an act of kindness). These are hatred’s antidotes.


Rather than forming assumptions about why someone is the way they are or why they do what they do, consider addressing your puzzlement with the innocent interest evoked by the statement “I wonder…”


If you have feelings of anger for someone or a group that has wronged you,


  • Begin with compassion for yourself; it’s fine to be unhappy about what occurred.
  • Consider what kinds of limits you’ll need to set in the future to keep your physical and mental safety.
  • And Consider expressing your feelings about the person’s actions and how they have affected your life.
  • Consider what it might take to approach forgiveness with assistance, and only when it’s healthy, safe, and appropriate.


What are three things you can do to stop hating a former spouse or coworker?

  1. Take a moment to consider whether you’re telling yourself the truth about the other person or group. What proof do you have for your claim? Can you think of any cases that contradict your belief?
  2. Consider what a more balanced idea might be if you’ve been participating in an all-or-nothing notion or a generalisation. Instead of stating, “He’s a horrible guy,” consider adding, “I don’t like what he did to me.”
  3. Consider performing an intentional act of kindness toward or with the person in mind, such as buying a hated coworker a cup of coffee or donating to a cause supported by your former spouse.


Read also: Everyone hates me, When You Feel Like Everyone Is Against You, How Do You Cope?

Read also: I hate me, 7 Ways to Say Goodbye to Self-Hatred