First love is an important chapter in our lives. All our beliefs about love, everything we had promised not to do in a couple, flies away when the emotions linked to love are felt for the first time. Although it usually occurs during adolescence, the first love can live in adulthood and sometimes even at an advanced age. If each relationship influences the next one, there is a “before/after ” first love.
The first love is not really the first
The way we create relationships with another person for the first time is necessarily related to our previous relationships with our loved ones and our family. Since we were young, we have been building more or less intimate relationships with other people. We learn to share, to lead, to collaborate, to play, to love but also to manage our first disappointments.
The relationships we have created with our parents and relatives in General also affect how we connect with new people. We are more or less dependent, self-confident, wary, aggressive… These relationships begun since childhood will forge us for the future.
This is why we can say that there are other “loves” before the first love. These loves and friendships, although they are not carnal, teach us and mark us forever.
Expectations VS reality
Unlike previous relationships (friendly and family), the first love brings many expectations to us. The latter are mostly related to what we saw on television, in the cinema, what we were told, what we saw at home… The love experiences of our loved ones also play on our expectations. So we make generalities about the first love. We want to decide how we will love, how we will act in the relationship, what we are looking for in the couple and what we want to avoid. The most romantic can even spend hours imagining how their first love will be.
But when the first love strikes, all these expectations collapse. We are blinded by emotions and can do things that we found kidding before. Conversely, we can also be disappointed by the turn that the relationship takes, not satisfying our expectations.
Adapting to reality after the shock aroused by disappointment can be a difficult step. But we need to learn some lessons for future relations. Even if the first bad reflex is to compare our other spouses to the first love.
The importance of experience
It is evident that first love represents an important milestone that affects our other relationships. This first love probably made us discover sex. He taught us to yield, to lay limits, to share, to be patient and to know what we want and what we do not want in a relationship.
The first love is striking for some people. For them, there will always be the will to compare the other relationships with this first love, throughout life. Over time, we tend to idealize this first story, forgetting everything that was wrong.
The first love is always intense and almost always devastating when it stops. But he has the merit of changing us and teaching us things about life.
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