loving someone with avoidant attachment, a common condition for many people, especially at the age of youth, is accompanied by some of the behavior that is not understood by the life partner, such as moving away from responsibility and commitment. delaying talking about marriage, and the future, and always looking for any obstacles that stand in the way of serious engagement, despite the person’s feelings The obvious and his intense love for the other party.
The problem of fear of loving someone with avoidant attachment has become common among many people, especially men of young age, due to the life pressures and the sense of responsibility that marriage usually imposes, and it is considered a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder, as a person imagines or pretends to have consequences and problems that stand in front of his emotional attachment, and it does not exist.
The behavior of these people seems confusing to their partners, as they are friendly and sincere in their feelings, except when it comes to matters of life that last for a longer period, such as marriage or talking about the future in general, the person becomes completely different.
Where does the problem of loving someone with avoidant attachment come from?
That the problem stems from different life experiences that have a lot to do with upbringing, such as if a person becomes attached to his father or mother a lot, and is afraid of attachment and attachment to someone other than them, or
Previous emotional experiences, such as a relationship that ended with problems accompanied by feelings of fear and pain, and thus feelings of love for this person were associated with pain and heartbreak.
Also, the suppression of emotions or deprivation and cruelty in parenting since childhood, people are afraid of attachment or attachment in general, because they do not know how to deal with emotions and feelings, in addition to the difficulty of expressing or talking about them, and this is not related to a social or material position of any kind.
How to deal with the problem of loving someone with avoidant attachment?
Back to the roots
It may be one of the important solutions. Going back to the roots, which usually has a relationship with upbringing and childhood, will make you explain the reasons for your actions, and thus you will realize that the matter is not what you think, but all of them are compulsive fears and whispers, present in your unconscious mind, and have no basis from Health, which is closely related to the way you were raised, so often knowing the cause is the best solution to the problem.
Face your fears
Your recognition of your fears is one of the ideal solutions to confront them, and the matter is not difficult at all, it only needs some courage from you, after finding the root of the problem, you should here acknowledge its existence, and it is possible to start practicing it, by committing to some simple things with the partner and implementing them, to make sure That your fear was misplaced.
Acceptance and rejection of people does not constitute who you are
Fear of association, also related to the idea of what other people say about me, as their opinions play a big role in forming my identity, self-confidence, and are also a result of the method of education, and in this case, you have to review some situations related to the opinions of others about you, in addition to the fears that form you a type From worrying about your partner’s opinion of you, and upon discovering it, you will probably be very sure that it has nothing to do with reality. You also have to realize that your relationship with yourself and your opinions about you are what should give it attention and priority.
Freedom to feel love and not vice versa
Feeling trapped in a relationship can lead to fear of commitment, for this reason, it may be time to change your way of thinking, which is thinking the other way around, for example instead of feeling trapped in a relationship, think about what it means to be in love. Maybe you are less free because you are standing outside love. After all, with true love comes the feeling of freedom, and there is a wonderful part about freedom related to being yourself, which is being weak at some times, which is a human and natural thing, perhaps more than pretending to be a fake force.
Pay attention to good relationships
Try to be surrounded by a lot of people who have successful romantic relationships, as this is an actual confirmation that your ideas about engagement and marriage are unfounded.
What if the partner tries to refuse to help the other party?
helping a partner is a wonderful thing, but if a person refuses to help those around him, as well as helping himself, in this case, it is not possible to intervene, as there must be a desire from the person himself to try to fix the matter, and this may be considered one of the things that In which the permanence of the relationship, or a serious attachment to this person, is not suitable for an unequal relationship, which will bring suffering to both parties.