Remember when you were a kid? Childhood is a wonderful time and that is why we often think about it with a little nostalgia.
It represents the time when we discover the world and, at the same time, we feel the protection and attention of adults.
During childhood and adolescence, it is our parents who are in charge of caring for us and protecting us, of meeting our needs and especially of making decisions for us.
That is why growing up and being mature is sometimes a little difficult experience. What is certain is that when we grow up we lose comfort and security, but we win something that has no price: freedom.
With the passage of years, we gradually take the reins of our own lives. First of all, we work to support ourselves.
However, there are other areas in which we must also learn to empower ourselves: our emotional ties, for example, or our mental health.
This is how we manage this responsibility that marks the difference between growing and maturity. Time is inexorably flowing and we are all growing up.
However, our way of taking responsibility for our emotions will determine our maturity.
Emotional maturity lies in an individual’s ability to be attentive to the full range of emotions, since these emotions allow communication by providing the basics of differentiation and discernment of our impact. An individual’s inability to do this is an accurate measure of his degree of emotional immaturity, regardless of social appearances. Thus this immaturity will manifest itself by different forms and levels of Defense, by false semblances, behavioral sabotage, restricted choices and sadness.
maturity is to learn to seek solutions rather than guilty
Making decisions involves feeling emotions related to fear, error and uncertainty. So we sometimes paralyze and find it hard to choose the path to take.
However, what is sure is that we are all mistaken one day, because making mistakes is part of the learning process.
Do you remember when you were learning to make additions to school? At first, they seemed very complicated and you were often mistaken. But with practice, adding up has become a breeze.
Assuming the fact that we were mistaken implies a complex process of reflection and analysis of the facts. That is why it is sometimes easier to find external reasons that would justify our mistakes.
This is where the fault comes into play. Often, when we have to deal with obstacles or have a problem, our minds strive to find the culprits.
Thus, even when one knocks on an inanimate object, it is reproached to be in the middle of the room. Has it ever occurred to you to walk without thinking in the hallway and bump your little toe on a toy that shouldn’t be here?
Without thinking, you only listen to your impulse and criticize this “damn toy that has nothing to do here”.
It’s natural, frustration pushes to look for responsible.
But what happens when the obstacle we encounter is more important than a toy in the middle of a corridor?
You may fail a number of times to an exam that you believe you are prepared for, that you do not renew a contract of employment, that you have communication problems within your couple or that your father rides on his big horses every time that you express your opinion.
If you do not think and you let yourself be carried by your emotions, it is the search for a culprit who will directly appear in your mind.
It may be that you blame the others, the circumstances, or even yourself. However, stop for a few moments and ask yourself: what is the point of finding a culprit?
When we accuse others or ourselves of something that has happened, we focus on negative emotions and attitudes.
Anger, frustration, sadness and resentment are invading us, but we are not advancing. In short, we are even more unhappy.
However, if you go above these negative emotions, you will realize that beyond this whole story of guilt, you can do something much more useful, such as undertaking an action that will help you change the situation.
If you are looking for solutions, you will understand that no matter who has made the mistake, it is possible to resolve the situation.
Let us strive to be parents of our future rather than children of our past. (Miguel de Unamuno)
We are sure you remember situations like this: you have a sense of injustice because you have failed an exam that you thought you had succeeded. Just thinking about it, you feel bad, you complain about the teacher or yourself, and you’re looking for a culprit.
Thinking about this story that belongs to the past, you’re staging. The search for the culprit blocks you and prevents you from advancing.
However, if you decide to change and do something about it like asking to review the copy, get back to studying the chapters on which you may have failed, ask for help, etc., your emotions will change.
Frustration will turn into motivation. Ripening is learning to move from level 1 to level 2.
The next time something doesn’t happen as you want and you try to look for culprits, remember that the best thing to do for you is to try to turn the page.
Negative emotions are inevitable, but if you’re looking for solutions instead of looking for culprits, you’ll realize that these emotions will be far behind and that you will advance to new goals.