Self-criticism is very important, as it is your path to success and happiness, but it may also be your path to total destruction and failure.
Self-criticism is defined as referring to the affairs and behavior of an individual by thinking about and analyzing them to find defects in them. Hence its importance, as it allows for reform and improvement.
But self-criticism can become destructive when it imposes itself permanently and when it is cruel, and the result is unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and devaluation, so how can it be silenced when it exceeds its limits?
They are your inner enemy
He is not your friend when he crosses all limits, that voice that commands you and who questions your decision and speaks insults to you when you make mistakes or fail is nothing but your enemy. It is what denies you ruins your happiness and advises you not to trust anyone and makes “the pill a dome.” He is a bully, his thoughts are toxic, the advice he provides is harmful, and you should silence him.
To understand it better, follow these steps:
- When you enter in a bad mood: Ask yourself about the thoughts that occurred to you about yourself when you got into a bad mood.
- Attitudes that trigger negative thoughts: A phone call from your father? Your friend informed you that he was promoted? Identifying the situations that stimulate negative thinking is an important matter for finding solutions, which we will mention later.
- Your mocking thoughts about others: These thoughts may be one of the most important clues that explain to you why you are attacking yourself.
After learning about these things, you should know what motivated her by following these steps:
1. Replace the ego with you: you can talk to yourself or write what you think. Every time you find yourself thinking things like this, “I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t have said that”, replace ego with the word you. “You’re so stupid, you shouldn’t have said that.”
According to psychologists, doing this separates you as a person, meaning “I”, from the person being attacked, meaning “you”.
You may go through harsh emotional moments when you do this, and it’s okay, as the majority of patients who undergo cognitive behavioral therapy and when asked to do so, they experience very strong emotional moments.
2. Where does this sound come from? And who is like ?: What you have to understand is that human nature is very complex and this voice that keeps criticizing you is the voice of someone from your past who was constantly criticizing you or always expected the best from you and whatever you did did not express his satisfaction. Maybe your father or your mother or some friend.
Think carefully about it and you will find that this voice and its criticisms are exactly like the criticisms you were subjected to by someone who negatively influenced you in the past.
How to get rid of Negative self-criticism?
Your mind is tricky
You have to realize that parts of the mind are programmed to find flaws, which means that it will find flaws and weaknesses and you will amplify them. Therefore, focusing the mind on these points is from an absolute biased and subjective and when you realize that your mind does not bring out the truth to you, you will be able to make the inner critical voice silent.
Focus on the positive
It is very difficult for us to forget the pain and disappointments, but on the other hand it is much easier to forget what makes us happy. Remind yourself of your best qualities, whether they are in your outward appearance or in your personality. Look at a woman every day and count 3 positive characteristics, do it for 3 months, and you will find yourself completely convinced.
In our daily life, we avoid making reactions when you are angry, because we realize that we will regret it later. The same applies to the inner voice and the bad mood. Defects change according to our mood. When you are in a bad mood, you will not treat yourself lightly, but rather you will be “wild” when you start criticizing yourself. The same things that bothered you when you were in a bad mood will disappear when you are in a better mood.
Creating a compassionate character
When you find someone you love in a bad condition, you try to do everything in your power to help them and console them through sympathetic words, relieve their pain, and help them.
So why not do it yourself? Why not create a compassionate person who sympathizes with you, helps you, and relieves your pain.
Think of a picture of this character. You may imagine it as a person or it could be through doing what you do like writing, drawing or listening to music.
When you find that self-criticism has reached advanced stages, summon it and push it to make you feel better about yourself.