Self-Forgiveness:Taking the Steps to Forgive Yourself, It’s frequently easier said than done to make peace and go ahead. Empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding are all necessary qualities for self-forgiveness. It also necessitates your acceptance of the fact that forgiving is a choice.
The actions you need to take to forgive yourself will look and feel the same whether you’re attempting to get through a little mistake or one that has far-reaching consequences.
We all make errors from time to time. We’re all flawed human beings. The key, according to Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, MBA, PA, is to learn from our mistakes and move on. As difficult as it may be, there are some things in life worth enduring the agony for to move forward, and one of them is forgiving yourself.
Steps to Take to Forgive Yourself
Here are 9 suggestions to help you forgive yourself the next time you need to.
Pay attention to your feelings.
Focusing on your emotions is one of the first stages in learning to forgive yourself. You must acknowledge and process your feelings before you can go on. The source you can trust. Allow yourself to acknowledge, embrace, and welcome the feelings that have been aroused in you.
Acknowledge the error aloud.
If you make a mistake and are having trouble letting it go, Jordan Pickell, MCP, RCC recommends saying out loud what you learned from it.
You may be able to release yourself from some of the burdens if you give voice to the thoughts in your brain and the feelings in your heart. You also imprint what you learned from your actions and outcomes in your mind.
Consider each blunder as a learning opportunity.
Consider each “error” as a learning opportunity that will help you move forward faster and more consistently in the future, according to Englander.
It will help us forgive ourselves and move ahead if we remember that we did the best we could with the tools and knowledge we had at the time. Rubicon Project is in charge of this website.
Permit yourself to put this procedure on hold.
Pickell suggests visualizing your thoughts and feelings about the error going into a container, such as a mason jar or box if you make a mistake and can’t seem to get it out of your mind.
Then convince yourself you’re putting this aside for the time being and will return to it if and when it’s beneficial to you.
Engage in a dialogue with your inner critic.
Journaling may aid in the understanding of your inner critic as well as the development of self-compassion. One thing you may do, according to Pickell, is write down a “dialogue” between you and your inner critic. This might assist you in identifying thinking patterns that are preventing you from forgiving yourself.
You may also use your journaling time to develop a list of things you admire in yourself, such as your talents and abilities. When you’re feeling depressed over a mistake you made, this might make you feel more confident.
Recognize when you’re being harsh on yourself.
Aren’t we our own worst critics? That’s why, according to Pickell, one essential action advice is to pay attention to when that angry voice enters and then write it down. What your inner critic truly says to you could surprise you.
Silence your inner critic’s negative messages.
It might be tough to notice the ideas that are preventing you from forgiving.
Pickell recommends the following practice if you’re having trouble separating yourself from your inner critic:
- Write down what your inner critic says on one side of a piece of paper (which tends to be critical and irrational).
- Write a self-compassionate and reasonable answer to each thing you wrote on the other side of the page.
Make a list of what you desire.
If you made a mistake that caused harm to another person, you must decide what the best course of action is. Do you wish to speak with this individual and express your regret? Is it necessary to make apologies and reconcile with them?
If you’re undecided about what to do, you should think about making apologies. This goes beyond apologizing to someone you’ve wronged. Instead, work to correct the error you’ve committed. According to one study, making reparations before forgiving oneself for injuring someone makes forgiveness easier.
Listen to your counsel
It’s often simpler to advise someone else what to do than to follow our counsel. Heidi McBain, LMFT, LPT, RPT, a licensed marital and family therapist, recommends asking yourself what you would advise your closest friend if they were sharing this mistake with you, and then acting on your advice.
If you’re having trouble figuring things out in your brain, role-playing with a friend could assist. Request that they take responsibility for your blunder. They’ll explain what happened and how hard it is for them to forgive themselves.
You get to provide advice to your friend and practice advising them how to proceed.
Read also: Forgiveness: What It Is & What It Is Not
Read also: What Is Forgiveness and How Do You Do It?