social anxiety tips : Stop making this 8 mistakes

woman with social phobia sitting alone with her phone near a group of friends

If you suffer from social anxiety, you are likely to have made at least half of the following errors. The good news is that you don’t have to continue with them with this social anxiety tips. The first step is to recognize that the following are actually errors and not just aspects of reality. Here they are without any particular order.

1. Ruminating

Like a cow chewing its din – again and again and again – ruminating means always turning the same thoughts into your mind. Usually they are thoughts about how much you messed up during the last social interaction. Ruminating keeps the anxiety in place making you more nervous for the next time you are in a similar situation.So stoping ruminating is one of the most important social anxiety tips.

2. Avoid uncomfortable situations

The perpetual avoidance of anxiety. The reason for this is that when you avoid a feared event or when you even decide to avoid it, you immediately get a sense of relief. This feeling of relief acts as a reinforcement for avoidance. If you have taken Psychology 101, you remember that reinforced behaviors are likely to be repeated. This means that you will continue to use avoidance to cope with anxiety and the cycle will remain in place: fear, avoidance, fear, avoidance, etc.

3. Use of alcohol or drugs to overcome social interactions

Despite the short-term gain of medicating your immediate anxiety, substance use does nothing to resolve the underlying problem. Not to mention the fact that you could develop an addiction. When you know for sure that you’re comfortable only after 2-3 drinks, you’re sure to be doubly anxious when there’s no alcohol available. The anxiety that is medicated from drugs of any kind, including prescription drugs, is the anxiety that will surely come back as soon as the drug is removed. This is why research shows that drugs alone are not an effective treatment for this condition.

4. Believing to have poor social skills

I know, I know: you are absolutely of course that your social skills are terrible compared to other people. Entertain the possibility that you are wrong here for a moment. The fact that you are so aware of other people and what they think of you means that you have the raw materials of a very successful socializer. In the group I run for people with social anxiety, I am constantly noticing the consideration, punctuality and general pleasure of these people who are convinced that they have no social skills.

Watch here: 10 Essential People Skills You Need to Succeed

5. Assuming that others always know what to do

“The others always seem to know when to embrace, unlike the trembling hands”, is an example of this cognitive error. The fact is that many social situations are inherently embarrassing, and we are all in the same boat when it comes to understanding how to navigate them. The difference between someone with social anxiety and someone without it, is that whoever has social anxiety takes on the immediate and total responsibility of any embarrassment they perceive.

6. Catastrophising

When there is social anxiety, social errors are very expensive. Walking down the corridor and stumbling in front of the others. Eat something messy that gets on your chin. Not knowing what to say in the middle of a conversation. These things happen to everyone, but the person with social anxiety believes that when they do, other people will judge them hard and even decide not to like them anymore. These thoughts are so automatic that you may not even know you have them. But consider this: if you believe a misstep will make you censor and hate, it’s no wonder you’re so anxious!

7. Focus on yourself in the presence of others

The more you pay attention to yourself, the more difficult it is to listen, concentrate and respond to those around you. Social anxiety wants you to constantly monitor yourself to evaluate your performance. Unfortunately, this monitoring itself hinders your ability to perform well. Being an effective social being involves listening and being present with other people. This is not about saying interesting things or keeping the conversation going. Frankly, it’s tiring for everyone.

8. Do not seek help

Social anxiety is a very treatable condition. If you think it’s “just like you”, then it’s just the way you’ll always be. Left alone, social anxiety tends to lead a chronic course for life. Yes, you will find little tricks to cope with age, but is it really in agreement with you if your anxiety has been bothering you for several decades? How about a year from now? If you have suffered from regular stomach pains, you would go to a doctor to help you understand what was wrong. You should not suffer from anxiety any more than you should live with physical pain. Seeking help. There are many resources and social anxiety tips out there. Look for an anxiety treatment if you can’t find the social anxiety treatment in particular. Good luck.

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