The culture of dialogue between spouses is an essential nerve in marital life
The culture of dialogue between spouses is one of the very important matters that should be the mainstay of marital life, as dialogue, regardless of its content, constitutes a bridge for intimacy, communication, understanding and comprehension between the spouses, and that whenever the methods, mechanisms and contents of this dialogue have evolved, especially in difficult times or confronting some Crises or problems, or even during disagreements in the manner of handling some of the issues that concern them, or one of them, it can be reassured that the marital ship is moving towards the ports of safety, wellness and prosperity.
Dialogue between spouses is of great importance because it reflects on family life very positively, as dialogue is one of the most important characteristics of cohesive families capable of solving their problems through positive communication, and one of the advantages of dialogue is that it shortens many distances between the spouses and controls most potential problems. Between them, and his absence is considered a disease in itself that may lead to the cooling off or loss of the marital relationship.
According to Dr. Medhat Abdel-Hadi, an expert on marital relations, there is no doubt that the spouses are in dire need of dialogue, in order to get rid of the psychological suffering caused by the suppression of feelings. Whereas, they should not only agree on a dialogue to resolve any dispute between them, but they must and should be concerned with dialogue in all matters of their lives; Therefore, the spouses must undertake the mastery of the best way of dialogue, in order to renew communication between them and for this we will discuss how to start the dialogue between them because of its importance in marital life.
How to start a dialogue with the husband:
The spouses get to know each other well with the passage of years of marriage, as they spend a lot of time together, which leads to the end of things and things that can be talked about, and the initiation of a dialogue with the husband becomes difficult and cumbersome, so some methods can be followed that facilitate the initiation of dialogue,
Such as: starting a small conversation and expanding through it to obtain a greater dialogue with the husband and communicate with him, and it is also possible to start a dialogue with the husband by asking him about his day so that he can start talking about his work, his relationships, and other matters related to him. With the husband on important issues for the spouses, and the following methods can be followed in order to be able to start a good dialogue with the husband, namely:
1- Determining the wife what concerns her:
The wife can write the matters that she occupies and wants to talk about with her husband on a piece of paper, and it is possible to choose topics that raise the interests of both parties, or prepare what can be said when she wants to start an important dialogue that occupies the wife, and determining how to solve the problem, which It facilitates the process of self-expression during the dialogue, taking into account the clarification to the husband of what the wife wants to talk about first.
2- Listening to the husband:
It is not possible to continue the dialogue with the husband in the long term without paying attention to what he says on a daily basis, so that the wife pays attention to what is happening in the life of her husband, which leads her to complete the dialogue with him and continue it to be more than just a small conversation, in addition to the role of that. In making the husband listen to his wife.
3- Choosing the right time for dialogue: The wife’s initiation into dialogue at an inappropriate time causes annoyance to the husband, so it is best to start the dialogue when making sure that he is free to talk, ready for it, and that he can give her his full attention, when he is not tired or busy.
4- Questioning: Several questions can be used to start a dialogue with the husband, such as: knowing the things that worry him, the things that make him happy, or when he feels happy, and taking into account listening to his answers well, in order to understand the husband more, and then expand the dialogue, to make it more comprehensive, through Asking questions to the husband, such as: What will make this year one of the best years of their life as a married couple, how can you support his role as a father, and what is his personal ambition.
5- Attention to body language: A wife can understand what her husband means through his body language, by paying attention to his eyes, sitting, and other physical movements, to know the extent of his readiness to have an open-minded dialogue.
6- Changing the daily routine: Changing the daily routine, especially the routine after returning from work, helps to have a varied dialogue with the husband, such as: Surprise the husband when he comes home with something he loves.
7- Conversation about bad and good things: categorizing things into good and bad, and then talking about them makes the dialogue more interesting, instead of saying one sentence, for example, about today’s events.
8- Inviting the husband to dialogue about a specific matter that interests him: The husband can be asked if he needs dialogue about what matters to him, to start a dialogue that proves to the husband the wife’s interest in him, her love for him, and her ability to listen to the ideas and emotions of her husband, which strengthens the bonds between them.
9 – Not setting assumptions: The long tenure with the husband sometimes leads the wife to assume that she knows everything about her husband, and knows what he feels as well, but this assumption is often wrong, so the wife does not have to assume that her husband’s bad mood means that he does not want to talk about it. It annoys him, but she must share his assumption, and ask him if he wants to talk about what is bothering him or not, which makes the dialogue between them open and sincere.
The importance of a culture of dialogue between spouses:
Convergence of views
Dialogue causes the spouses to exchange secrets with each other, for each of them tells the other about what is going on in their imagination and what he thinks, and each party persuades the other party of its decision together, and in the end the converging opinions appear, and agreed upon in the dialogue, and it also allows the opportunity for discussion, and that is why they become, and prevail. A culture of understanding, dialogue, and love between them.