What Should You Do If You’re Being Gaslighted? Gaslighting is a term used to describe attempts to persuade you to doubt your feelings, perceptions of events, and reality in general. Someone attempting to gaslight you will usually try to perplex you and make you doubt yourself in order to persuade you to do what they want.
Although it is most often used by emotionally abusive spouses and family members, gaslighting can also occur in friendships or the workplace. It may have a significant influence on your emotional health, job productivity, and other relationships if left uncontrolled.
What Should You Do If You’re Being Gaslighted?
Here are eight suggestions for reacting and regaining control.
First, be sure it’s not gaslighting.
Gaslighting can be difficult to see, especially because it typically starts out tiny and other actions can look similar.
True gaslighting becomes a habit of manipulation that is performed over and over again. The individual who is gaslighting you is usually trying to make you doubt yourself and rely on their interpretation of reality.
So someone who expresses an opposing viewpoint, even if it is harsh or critical, isn’t always gaslighting you.
People can be convinced of their own expertise and insist on being correct despite evidence to the contrary. “You’re wrong!” he insists. It isn’t always nice to say, “I know what I’m talking about,” but it isn’t always gaslighting if they aren’t attempting to influence you.
Take some time away from the situation.
When dealing with gaslighting, it’s natural to feel a range of powerful emotions.
Anger, anger, anxiety, grief, fear – these and other emotions are all acceptable, but don’t allow them to dictate your initial response. Maintaining your composure might help you deal with the issue more successfully.
You might want to refute what the person attempting to gaslight you has said because it is completely false. However, they may not give up, and your distress may encourage them to continue manipulating you.
Keeping calm can also help you focus on the truth, making it less likely that their (false) version of events will undermine your self-assurance and faith.
Keeping track of what’s really going on can help you keep track of what’s going on with someone attempting to gaslight you. You may go back and verify the truth for yourself if they deny a discussion or incident took place.
Speak out about the behaviour
Gaslighting works because it perplexes and undermines your self-assurance. Though you act as if the conduct doesn’t affect you, the individual attempting to gaslight you may conclude the battle isn’t worth it.
Gaslighting sometimes includes criticism and insults in addition to falsehoods and deception. Calling them out – calmly and respectfully — sends a message that you will not tolerate their conduct.
Don’t be scared to speak up, because letting others know about the problem can encourage them to leave you alone.
They may try to disguise insults as jokes, backhanded compliments, or the phrase “I’m only trying to assist.” Asking them to clarify the joke as if you don’t get it may help them realise that these tactics won’t work on you.
Keep your faith in your version of events.
Everyone remembers things a bit differently than they happened on occasion, and you may question, “What if it really happened the way they said?” But resist the impulse to doubt yourself; they want you to question reality.
Read Also: How to Spot the Signs of Gaslighting?